he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
