Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
