Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
