I'm lost and stupid without you.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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