google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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