I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
