At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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