Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
