I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
