Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
