wrigley field is MILF paradise
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
