the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
