ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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