You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
