A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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