it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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