So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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