Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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