alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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