tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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