Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
