i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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