DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
