I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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