how can u be prego again
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
