i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Never joke about your clitoris.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
