How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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