Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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