My nipple is on Facebook.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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