She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
