He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
