They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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