the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
