i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Girls should come with a carfax report
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
