im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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