sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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