he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
