Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
