is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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