whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
it was like eating out sand paper
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
