3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
