he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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