my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
