i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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