I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i believe in u and ur pee
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
