And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
