last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
