dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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