I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
