I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
